Transition is well...a transition. They rarely go as planned. We may do everything in our power to prepare, organize and schedule accordingly, hoping to alleviate the stress, anxiety and lack of control one often feels when their life changes. Change isn't hard for everyone, but it is hard for me. My nature to be organize and create routine in my life no doubt serves me well in many respects, but I cling to it like a life jacket until I am pulled away from it, thrashing about in uncharted waters. The feeling of no control, new environment, new everything seems almost too unbearable at times. I can't keep up with all the feelings bubbling up within me. I feel as though someone has pushed me off the plank into the ocean.
Fighting the current, I try to regain control, refusing to accept what is. Minutes turn to hours and all the resistance leaves me weak, tired and defeated. In that moment, I realize I have achieved nothing, I am still floating in open water, my life jacket is still gone, and I am not closer to feeling like the master of my life. I consider the options; I can continue to fight, give up, or let go. I breath in deeply, I exhale heavily, and start to watch the waves rise and fall, gently hugging my body as we move in unison up and down. I allow my body to relax and tip my head back, looking at the beautiful sky. In that moment, I ease the urge to focus on everything I left behind, everything that isn't to my liking and look toward the open ocean...without my life jacket...to flow with the current instead of against it.
"Man Cannot Discover New Oceans Unless He Has the Courage to Lose Sight of the Shore" - Andre Gide